It's just business bro (From Asian Image)

It's just business bro

5:42pm Wednesday 16th June 2010 in Last Bit By The Last Bit

Here’s how it’s going to be. I’m going to wait for you to come up with a great business idea.

I will then become your best friend. You know what I mean…I will call you my brother, prava, bhai saab – whatever makes you happy. Things will be awesome for a while and then POW! You won’t know what’s hit you.

You open a takeaway – I’m launching one right next door and giving it a name that rhymes just like yours. I’ll even try to poach some of your staff.

The best thing is I’ll turn everyone against you and make them think you kicked me out!

I’ll undercut you by a couple of pence and whilst we both struggle to make a meagre living in the end it will be all worth it because ‘it’s just business bro.’ And when I find out my company isn’t working I’m going to try and torch it for a few quid and destroy everyone else’s shop in the process.

Then when you close up and open a hairdresser’s I’ll import my cousin from abroad and open one up 20 yards away. He’ll charge 50 pence less, work fifteen hours a day and never take a break.

Sooner or later there will be ten hairdressers where there was just one, each earning just enough to pay the electricity bill. It’ll all be worth it because ‘it’s just business bro.’ When you open a taxi firm I’m opening one too. I’ll charge £1 a mile even though it costs me £2 in petrol.

Then one day when we decide to ‘fix the price’ secretly I’m going to screw you over because ‘it’s just business bro.’ As you venture into the retail business – so will I! You put a new sign up – I’m putting a bigger one up even if it costs me my last few pennies.

You come up with a design – I’m going to steal it and call it my own.

You sell two for a pound – I’ll sell three for a pound. Eventually I will drive the prices so low that we will both get shafted good and proper. But who cares as long as I got a piece of the cake.

Where ever you go and make a quick buck I’m right behind you because hey... ‘it’s just business bro’.