If it's Asian don't trust it!

First published in Last Bit by

I had thought this rule had long died with those wonderful gentlemen of yesteryear.

Sadly, my dear readers it hasn’t. It is alive and well and lives within our very souls - if it’s built by an Asian..served by an Asian owned by an Asian - then don’t trust it!

It doesn’t matter if the guy has done a spanking great job - somewhere down the line we have this horrible feeling that he is ripping us off.

I guess this rule kind of came into being in the seventies. Back then we loved one another - but still not enough to trust each other with our lives.

I remember some Asian fella coming to my house to fix a door and we treated him like a slave. It was like being in the village again as we studied his every movement. In complete contrast everyone else got special treatment and the customary custard creams (chocolate ones too!).

As time went on we started to trust one another less and less. There was a feeling deep down that somehow this man was taking advantage of us even when he was sincere. Bought a car?...should have bought it from a white man. Getting a kitchen extension?...Andy does a better job than Sandy.

Even in conversation we have to convince other people that he won’t rip you off.

‘He did a job for me and the guy was wonderful. But only if you stand right next to him and watch his every move.”

What on earth have we become? As soon as he says, “Brother we are all Muslims..’ There is a slow realisation that something ain’t quite right.

Last week this Asian fella comes to my house to fix me boiler.

He does a decent job but then he refused the customary discount.

Later the boiler broke down and I decided to call someone from yellow pages.

That guy came and I paid him double. But did I ask him for a discount. Like hell I did.

He was after all a ‘respectable member and had a proper van and overalls whereas my man had shalwaar kameez on with salan (curry) stains on the front’.

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