Rotee - Shotee (From Asian Image)

Rotee - Shotee

11:29am Wednesday 17th March 2010 in Last Bit By The Last Bit

It started innocently enough. I wanted some rotee (chapatti) but no-one was listening to me.

A second later I blared out.. ‘Koi Rotee Shotee Hai?’ and suddenly I gained the respect I deserved.

But my need to rhyme words with almost anything and everything took over. Soon enough I was making all my food products rhyme.

Botee-Shotee, Chawal-Shaval, Drink-Shink, Aloo-Ahaloo, Gobee-Shobee, Kebab-Shaab, Curry-Shurry, Apple-shapple, Kaylah(banana)-Shayla.

I became obsessed with ensuring things rhymed with nonsensical words I would make-up.

As the disease took over I could rhyme pieces of furniture...Bed-Shed, TV-Shevee, Light-Shite,Table-Shable, Phone-Shone, Cupboard-Shupboard.

I became a little more experienced and adventurous. Bacha-shacha, garam-sharam, tandha-shanda, panee-shanee, sweet-sheet...my mind was awash with words.

The technological revolution made me realise the infinite possibilities. Computer-shooter, Screen-Sheen, e-mail-She-mail, Keyboard-Sheboard.

It became almost impossible to say anything at dinnertime without rhyming things. “Have you got some Loon(salt)-Shoon?” I would state.

I began using multiple phrases and rhymes in the same sentence. “So, what does your Biwi-Shivee think of your new Gaaree -Sharee and have you got any Kuree(girl)-Shuree for me?”

There were times I met other people with a similar obsession. Things would get a little confusing but somehow it all made sense.

“Hey, have you got any Ladoo-Shadoo to go with this Cha(tea)-Shah?”

“No, but we have some Cake-Shake and some Biscuit-Shiscuit. Bit low on the Paysah(money)-Saysha.”

“Yeah I know how you feel. Recession-Session made me go get a Loan-Shoan from the Bank-Shank.”

“Tell you these Bachay-Sachay can be a real Pain-Shane. One them wants a Navee (new)-Shavee, Sona-Shona Ring-Shing for his Wife-Shife in the Pi