There are many things in life that make us what we are but there is nothing worse than a jealous Asian.

When we get jealous we stick the knife in and twist it - nice. This is one trait that will never ever go away.

You can be going on minding your own business and bham.. jealous Asian will stick you good and proper. Asian women are generally the worst of the bunch.

They are jealous with a sick vengeance. It can be anything like the shoes the other woman was wearing to the colour of her outfit. She’s going down and Jealous Asian is taking her down.

Jealous Asian can be anyone and even those who think they are not jealous can make the grade if they try hard enough. The secret to being a jealous Asian is to pick the right moment.

It has to be either a death or a wedding.

BH’s are out in force at Asian weddings as they love to talk about horrible the family is and make up stories. I do it all the time. My jealous trait means I can’t do anything without putting someone else down.

Did you know she hired the wedding dress? The food was awful – I heard they tried to save money. Did you see how their uncle was looking at everyone...that’s why they call him Perv Uncle.

I love it when someone buys a new car and it automatically means they must have done it through illegal means - ‘He’s a drug dealer and she’s a fraudster’.

The best thing to do is to make yourself out to be a new modern type who says they are ‘above the petty things Asians worry about’. But deep down you are a stinking pig of a jealous Asian.

The most infuriating thing you can do to another jealous Asian is buy a better house or car just a few days after they have.

After many years he saves his money and buys a brand spanking new car. For a few weeks he is the king of the manor. ‘Brother, I may live in a two bedroomed shack but I got a new car and it makes me a better human being.’ At every wedding and at the petrol station he makes a point of looking at all the other ‘poor’ Asians who can’t afford a ‘proper car’.

Then – boo-yaka-sha – I do that brother over big time and roll out a bigger and more expensive car. Think you’re big time? You’re going down big time brothe