Dear Massi. I have met a really nice guy through a marriage proposal. My parents really like him and the family a lot.

We have started talking on the phone to get to know each other.

It’s all going well except for when he told me that he has never used a toaster or microwave in his life.

He said it was normal as his mum has all his meals ready for him and he has never needed to make food for himself.

My mum said I shouldn’t make a big deal out of this, but I don’t want to marry someone who is useless at basic things in the kitchen or who thinks he can rely on me to cook everything for him, especially as I work full time.

I didn’t know they made guys like that anymore.

What shall I say to him?

Massi says: As unusual as it is that this man has no culinary skills, it is not necessary for this to be a deal breaker.

Explain to him that you would like it if you could both cook together if you were to get married and that you would hope to share the chores in the home.

Rather than seeing this as  a major flaw, understand that in his home, as he indicated, this kind of routine is the norm.

Instead of being critical of it, tell him kindly that you both would be deemed equal partners in  a potential relationship and that includes cooking and cleaning.

Chacha Tez says, Well this is #awkward. I actually think it’s really rude that you’ve written to Massi about ME. I can’t believe this. 

So what if I don’t know how to use a microwave or toaster? I’ve got other skills, like having a lie-in til 2pm. CAN YOU DO THAT?! Didn’t think so. 

Yeah, my mum does do everything for me, but she insists. She’s from that generation of Pakistani women who spoil their boys. 

You know what that means? It means, 

I’m a victim of the patriarchy! Can’t believe you victim-shamed me by telling the whole world I’m useless in the kitchen. Tell your parents the rishta is off. I’m off now to go and cry on Instagram about it.