Dear Massi, I am really upset. My husband has told me he will spend the Christmas period with his first wife and kids instead of with me.

It's not fair.

We have only been married two months. I didn't even get a honeymoon as he said he was too busy with work.

This is our first holiday time together and he's going back to his first wife.

I don't know why he bothered marrying me .

He shouldn't be neglecting me.

He says I am being selfish and that he needs to think about his kids first.

He should have thought about his kids before he married me.

Do you think I am being unreasonable?

Massi says, Marriage requires compromise and understanding.

In your case the dynamics are even more complicated as there is another entire family involved.

Your husband's desire to spend quality time with his first family over Christmas is not being implemented to hurt you, but to reassure his children that they are his priority.

Rather than taking this personally, try and understand that his children also need their father.

You knew full well that he already had a family when you agreed to marry him and you will have to become accustomed to the fact that his time will be divided.