Dear Massi, I have a weird problem. I just found out my mother-in-law has a boyfriend.

I can't tell my husband. He'll be devastated. It has only been a year since his dad died.

We've noticed changes in her in the last couple of months. She bought herself some jeans. Now she wears them when she goes out. This is a woman who has only ever worn shalwar kameez all her life.

She cut her hair short and dyed it too. My husband thought it was just her way of dealing with depression but it seems she's not depressed at all. Quite the opposite.

I found out about this new man when I was downloading an app on her phone.

A message from this man came on her phone so I checked the WhatsApp messages. 

They are exchanging all this shayari with each other and Bollywood film dialogues. 

They're even sending selfies to each other! 

I don't know his name and I don't recognise his face but my mother-in-law has saved his name as 'Anarkali ka Saleem.'

I was so shocked to discover this.

I don't what to do, whether I should tell my husband or speak to my mother-in-law about this. 

Massi says, It is understandable that you are shocked by this revelation and are concerned about your husband's reaction.

However, you are discussing your mother-in-law's private life. 

Unless she chooses to tell you herself about her relationship with this man, it is of no concern to you. 

You have invaded her private life by reading her messages. Think how you would feel if someone read your messages without your permission.

Your mother-in-law has no doubt endured a gruelling year since the death of her husband.

If she is now doing something that makes her happy, be it a change of dress or making new friends, let her be. 

Her changes are not adversely affecting you or your husband, so let the matter remain her personal one.