Dear Massi, I don’t know what to do that doesn’t involve shouting at my husband. 

He’s so lazy. I was away for one weekend for a work trip and left him a list of things to do. 

He didn’t do one thing on that list himself and even called his mum over to hoover. His mum is 70!

She even put the bins out. I left food for him but he would rather go hungry and get a headache than actually heat it up. His mum ended up bringing freshly made food for him at breakfast time, lunch time and dinner time.

I do think she has spoiled him but I’m stuck with an overgrown baby who doesn’t want to take the bins out because his hands will get dirty.

We both work full time so I’ve told him we need to share the chores but he only responds to nagging. How do I handle this without nagging all the time?

Massi says, It seems that your husband has been accustomed to being pampered throughout his life and considers this to be the norm.

This kind of expectation is not only unhealthy but is also incredibly unfair on you.

As frustrating as it is for you, you have seen that ‘nagging’ is not an effective tool. 

Try and talk to your husband about this in a non confrontational manner and without being critical of his upbringing. 

Clearly explain that you both work and the responsibility of the household lies with both of you.

Rather than dictating to him, list the chores and ask him which he would prefer to do.

Tell him that you are working together as a team. If you both work full time, it is only fair to do chores equally.