Dear Massi, I think my in-laws have been very stingy.

My child is the first grandchild on both sides of the family. My parents gave me £500 and a heavy gold set. And they bought me a cot and designer clothes. 

My in-laws only gave me a gold set, which I am sure is second hand, and a couple of high street outfits for the baby.

I have been telling my husband this is not right and that his parents have insulted him by not giving proper presents.
He spoke to his parents but they said that I have brainwashed him against his parents.

I know I am right. My parents agree that I am right.

I am really angry that his parents have twisted this to make me look like the bad person.

Massi says, The birth of a baby should be a happy occasion for members of both sides of the family.

Whilst presents are customary practice, the value of them should not be highlighted.

Whatever gifts were given to you were done so with sentimentality and good will. Comparing gifts in this way is crass and unnecessary and furthermore, it is very hurtful.

You have created a big scene out of choosing to be superficial.
A simple ‘thank you’ should have sufficed rather than intense scrutiny and causing disharmony within the family.

Ask yourself, what is more important to you, a loving family environment for your new baby or a taut environment filled with lots of expensive products. I think you know the answer.