Dear Massi, I want to marry again so I can have a second wife to please me.

Basically I am worried I will do something sinful unless I marry again.

My first wife is a good wife and she looks after me well but she is no longer attractive physically.

I can’t control my urges to look at other women. I know this is wrong but I cannot help it and I am very worried about my situation.

I almost acted on my urges several times but I managed to control myself.

I have met with four different families and explained why I want to get married again, but they all got angry with me. I did not fully understand why.

I don’t want to watch things as that is haram.

I asked a religious man and he said I should fast two days of the week to control my urges.

I cannot do that as I get too tired. What do you think is a solution?

Massi says, Your purpose for getting married again is solely to satiate your physical appetite.

It is no wonder your efforts are being rejected.

For a marriage to work, it requires a lot more than being physically attracted to one another.

You have already said that your wife looks after you. You seem to dismiss such a wonderful trait so trivially in the face of fulfilling your desires.

Rather than trying to look outside your marriage to fill a gap that seems to have developed, try and repair the problems with your wife.

Intimacy is a key part of a marriage. 

Being intimate with your wife requires you to be open and honest with her.

Open up the channels of communication.

Ask her what she likes, what her preferences are. This should be an enjoyable experience for you both. 

Make sure your wife knows you care about her feelings and not just the physical act itself.

Most importantly, I think you really need to grow up a little and realise what you are actually saying.