Dear Massi, I am really depressed. No-one seems to understand my point of view.

My husband is obsessed with sex and wants it constantly. He has a lot of porn downloaded on his laptop. When I confronted him about it, he said he is an adult and I have no right to tell him what to do.

He says I should be grateful that he is only watching porn and not cheating on me as most of his friends have flings.

That really was no consolation to me.

To make matters worse, he now says he wants a second wife to fulfill his sexual needs when I have my period.

He had previously said I need to research online ways to please a man when a woman is on her period.

This is making me very angry, upset and depressed. 

We have three children under the age of 5.  I am exhausted as it is. 

This is just adding too much pressure on me.

I asked a religious speaker for her advice, but she just said I should learn to manage my time to accommodate my husband's needs for sex as it is my duty to satisfy him at whatever cost.

I am getting really depressed about my life.

Massi says: Your husband is putting a huge amount of pressure on you.

You should not feel obliged to satiate his sexual appetite on demand.

As you rightly said, looking after three young children is extremely tiring, something that your husband does not seem to acknowledge.

Marrying a second wife is certainly not the solution to the problems in your marriage. For him to even suggest this shows he is thinking only of himself and his sexual desires rather than the mother of his children and his wife.

I'm sorry but the advice given to you by the religious speaker is simply not feasible at this stage and does not take into account your wellbeing or your situation.

It seems you are having a physical relationship but not to the extent he wants.

Try talking to your husband to explain how he is making you feel.
Explain that you want to connect with him emotionally rather than it being just about physical gratification.

Tell him also that you feel your relationship is being affected adversely by his sexual demands.

If your husband is still not receptive to your words, speak to your GP. 

You may look to consider speaking to a professional about your concerns as this is clearly affecting your emotional health.