Dear Massi, I am thinking of breaking off my engagement. 

The wedding is literally a couple of months away and my fiancé is messing around again.

He has a history of partying and disappearing for the whole weekend but he promised to use Ramadan as a month of change.

I actually believed him. He was reading tarawee every night and fasting all the days.

But on Eid he ended up getting drunk and going to a strip club where he got a lapdance.

His best friend who was also drunk thought it would be funny to send me a photo of my fiancé outside the strip club.

When I confronted my fiancé he admitted it all. I don't know what to do.

He says it will never happen again but  Idon't trust him anymore.


Massi says,  This is a difficult decision for you to now consider.

You say that your fiancé has repeatedly manifested this kind of behaviour which is worrying you.

Whilst his intention to change for you may well have been an earnest one, unless the change comes from within, it is unlikely to be implemented long term.

It is time for you to talk to your fiancé and tell him that you are thinking about calling off the wedding.

Ask him what it is he wants  - perhaps he is not quite ready yet to take the next step in your relationship.

If you believe he is able to make changes, then perhaps consider postponing the wedding to give yourself time to see if this can happen.

However, if you feel you can no longer trust him and that his actions have negatively impacted your relationship, it would be better to end the relationship now rather than suffering the consequences of his behaviour after marriage.