Dear Massi, Ever since I got engaged, everyone seems to be making the same comments and it is really getting me down.

My fiancé is very light skinned whereas I am very dark.

Everyone is telling my parents how lucky I am that he chose me and that my kismat must be good.

One aunty even said that I must have trapped him somehow with jadoo as that is the only way I can guarantee having fair skinned children.

Someone else decided to give me advice on what colour wedding dress I should choose so I don't look too dark next to him on the wedding day as that will ruin the wedding pictures.

It's really upsetting hearing this type of rubish over and over again.

My parents don't say anything because they don't want to offend their friends and family.

No-one had ever commented on my skin colour until my fiancé came along.

What can I do or say? These people are ruining a time in my life when I should be really happy.


Massi says, It is difficult to break down deep rooted cultural opinions. 

It is incredibly crass to comment on ones skin colour or appearance.

Unfortunately, you cannot stop people from gossiping about things that do not concern them. However, you can stop yourself from being affected by mindless gossip by ignoring people who engage in this.

Rather than pay heed to other people's unsolicited comments, focus on your wedding day, your future husband and your marriage. 

The most important thing is that you and your fiancé are happy.

Don't get caught up in people's opinions, especially those who do not play an active part in your life.