Dear Massi, I am a 45-year-old widow. My husband passed away five years ago. I only have one daughter and she got married last year, so I am now left on my own.

I have started feeling very lonely. 

The wedding had kept me busy, but now there is a huge gap in my life.

I think I would like to get married again, but when I spoke about it to a few people, they called me 'besharam' behind my back.

My parents-in-laws even found out from someone and said they would never talk to me again if I insulted the memory of their son by remarrying.

I don't know why they are making me feel so cheap by saying these things.

Of course I will always love my husband, but he is not coming back.

Does that mean I have to grieve for the rest of my life?

Massi says, Sometimes people can become caught up in what cultural norms dictate and thus are afraid of change.

You have not suggested anything immoral in contemplating marrying again. 

It is human nature to wish to have companionship. 

Expecting you to grieve for a lifetime for your lost husband is unfair and damaging to you.

Ultimately it is you that is living alone. 

It is much easier for other people to pass judgement on your decision to re-marry than to actually understand the loneliness you are experiencing. 

If you try to live life by pleasing others, you will never succeed.

Put the judgemental comments behind you and think with conviction about what course of action will make you happy and what is right for you.