Dear Massi, I have been to see a girl for a rishta and she seems really nice.
She has a great personality and I can see us getting along quite well.
The family are really good too and things have been going really well.
At the fourth meeting I was at the house and sitting on the sofa.
Her brother was very friendly and when we were alone he put his hand on top of mine.
I pulled it away as I was really shocked at what at happened. He then tried it again in the kitchen and pushed himself against me. He later told me that he had feelings for me since he first saw me and was looking forward to the wedding.
I told him to back off but I don’t think he understands? Or is he doing it for a thrill?
I have no issues what he wants to do with his life but this whole situation has got me thinking.
I have been avoiding marriage questions now and avoiding the family too.
My parents don’t know what is wrong. I can’t tell anyone can I?
What if he hasn’t told his family about his lifestyle? What do I do?
Massi says, It is highly inappropriate that this man is behaving in this way with his future brother-in-law.
It is understandable that you have distanced yourself from any further encounters. However, avoiding the family is not going to resolve the issue.
This man may not have told his family about his preferences for fear of the repercussions although he has expressly made his feelings known to you.
You say that you were looking forward to the marriage with the woman you were introduced to. In order to not further hinder this process, arrange to talk to her brother alone.
Be forthright in conveying how uncomfortable he made you feel and that you will not expect such behaviour to be repeated.
Explain that not only are his feelings not reciprocated, but you are not that way inclined.
Your focus now should be on this woman and your future together.
It is very selfish for this man not to think of the feelings of his own sister and how his sister may feel if she ever found out how he had behaved.