Dear Massi, I have been married almost seven months now and we still haven't consummated the marriage.
My husband and I are good friends and we have a good laugh together.
I am worried the relationship is so platonic that he doesn't see me as an object of desire.
I have tried lots of things- wearing lingerie, surprising him in the shower. I even asked him if he wanted to watch some online stuff to help get him going.
He just has no interest.
Apart from that he is really kind and considerate.
He picks out my clothes for me every morning, he even applies my makeup for me and paints my toenails. He is so considerate.
But there is no compatibility in bed.
I could 'please' myself but I have always heard that is haram.
I don't want to divorce but I need more.
And I do want a baby at some stage.
Massi says, Whilst sexual compatibility is not the sole grounds for making a marriage work, a level of compatibility is necessary.
This area of a marriage very often needs an effort to be made from both parties.
You have stated that you and your husband have a fun and friendly relationship with each other, which implies you are at ease with each other.
In this way you should communicate your feelings to your husband about your concerns.
Explain how you feel and ask him what his thoughts are on this subject.
Ask him if there are things he likes or has a preference for and in return tell him yours.
Communication is key here.