Dear Massi, I know I'm going to sound old fashioned or sexist to you, but I genuinely need advice.
I am engaged to a girl.
We have been talking a lot on WhatsApp and on the phone as it can get quite awkward talking in front of a mehram.
We both agreed we should be completely honest with each other about our past so we can have a clean, fresh start without any secrets.
I told her that I don't believe in sex before marriage and have never slept with anyone before. I had a couple of girlfriends, but I never slept with them.
She then told me that she had been in one relationship before meeting me, and that they had sex.
She said she was full of regret afterwards, and that she had become more religious after that as she was so upset she had strayed in that way.
I can see she was sincerely repentant, but even then, I am not sure I can be okay with the fact that the woman I am going to marry has had a physical relationship with another man.
Any words from you would be helpful.
Massi says, It is good that you and your fiancee were honest about your past.
It would have taken a lot of courage for your fiancee to reveal such candid details about her past to you.
It seems that both of you would have revealed this on the basis of there being no repercussions.
You say you believe her to be repentant and full of regret.
Rather than dwelling on this one point, focus on the woman you want to marry and the life you are planning together.
We cannot custom make our partners.
It is essentially our flaws, characteristics and personal journeys that make us unique.
A healthy marriage does not consist of what one did in their past.
If you love your fiancee, put her past behind you once and for all.