Dear Massi, I want to get married but my dad won't let me.
My dad is Pakistani and my mum is a white British woman.
But when I told my dad I want to marry a white man, he said he would disown me before allowing that to happen.
He is being such a hypocrite.
The man I want to marry said he will convert to Islam, but even that is not good enough for my dad.
He says he wants me to marry someone who has had a similar upbringing- by that he means an Asian upbringing.
He says that this man will not be able to understand our culture.
I told him he was being a racist and was actually insulting my mum in the process.
And then he said it's different rules for men and women.
I don't know what to do.
Massi says, There are indeed double standards in place here which is understandably very frustrating for you.
In this case your father's stance is even more questionable on account of your mother's ethnicity.
Talk to your father without getting emotional or angry.
Explain that you understand that he only has your best interest at heart and you are not taking this step to hurt him.
Tell him that he and your mother have brought you up with good values and that should give them the confidence that you are able to marry someone who will be good for you.
Although your father has concerns about culture, tell your father that his marriage outside the culture did not compromise your upbringing.
If this man says he is willing to change religion in order to marry you, that is a huge gesture of commitment.
That should supersede any worries about culture.