Dear Massi, My problem is an embarrassing one. I can't ask anyone's opinion or help because they may look at me differently.
Me and my husband are celebrating our first wedding anniversary next month. I asked him what he wants as a present- I told him I want earrings.
I thought he would want something like a tie or tickets to a football match.
But he said the most perfect way to celebrate our first anniversary would be to have sex...in the back door.
My first problem is that I'm not sure if it is allowed.
Some books I have read say this kind of intimacy is completely haram. Other schools of thought say it is permissible if the wife agrees?
My other issue is the pain factor. I think it will be too painful. He keeps asking me what my answer is.
I'm confused because our anniversary is coming up, and I need to make a decision.
I feel a bit pressured, but at the same time, it is something intimate with my husband, so maybe I shouldn't be so frigid?
Please give me advice.
Massi Says, You should not feel pressured to do anything in bed that you are not completely comfortable with.
You sound very hesitant and nervous.
Rather than delaying this decision and aggravating your nerves, express your concerns candidly to your husband.
Tell him you are unsure about the religious perspective, and also that you are emotionally and physically not ready for that kind of intimacy.
Whether this appeals to you or not, communication with your husband is the key.
Why not convey something else that you might like to explore with your husband on your anniversary, so that neither of you are disappointed.