Dear Massi, My friend is the same age as me, he is 44. We both have three kids.
He is always calling his wife a 'freshie' and laughs it off. He's always competing with us when we're out with the lads. He reckons he can pull any girl.
He's always flirting with 17 or 18-year-old girls.
Then he comes back and tells us in which position he would do each girl. He sounds so sleazy and desperate.
He tells us that we are morphing into our uncles- some of us are just more comfortable going out in shalwar kameez. He says he likes to hang around in the more 'sophisticated' clubs.
He has joked several times about how he is desperate to have an affair because his wife is like a log in bed.
He secretly takes pictures of attractive women when he is out and then he shows us.
The rest of the lads get really uncomfortable listening to him, but no-one is willing to say anything because he always pays for dinner or drives us when we're out.
Massi Says, It sounds like your friend has issues that he needs to contend with.
He is obviously a little delutional in his thinking and outlook on life.
However, it sounds like his friends, including yourself are wanting to have their cake and eat it too.
If you feel strongly enough to write a letter about your friend then you need to be able to be parlay your thoughts into a direct conversation with your friend.
Tell him how you feel about his behaviour, that it is inappropriate, and that it makes you all uncomfortable.
However, if you are afraid your perks and freebies will be taken away from you if you express your opinion to your friend, then you need to decide what is more important to you, the value of your friendship or a free meal courtesy of your friend.