Dear Massi, My wife won't cook daal at davat's as she says it looks like we're poor or cheap.

She says guests should only be fed meat and chicken to show that we know how to entertain properly.

So when my mum called us over for dinner and had cooked daal and aloo gobi, my wife sat there in silence and wouldn't eat.

All the way home she said my mum had insulted her by cooking that food.
I told my wife she was being a snob. She said someone of my 'jahil zaat' wouldn't understand.

We have barely spoken since.

Massi says, It is disconcerting to hear that class and caste is still being used to justify opinion.

There are many traditions that are attributed to culture, but the caste system leads to, as you rightly denoted, feelings of elitism.

Not talking to your wife is not going to resolve your problem.

Talk to your wife, but instead of resorting to calling her a snob or any other names, leave class out of this.

Explain how hurt you were that she spoke about your mother in that way.

Tell your wife that an invitation to a vegetarian dinner was hardly an excuse to insult your wife as you were also eating the same food.

It would be fatuous to suggest that your mother was insulting her son by cooking him the same food as for his wife.

Whilst your wife is entitled to cook whatever she feels fit in her kitchen, ask her to be a little kinder in her opinion about what other people cook.