Dear Massi, I'm having some boundary issues with my father-in-law.
I've just had a baby and it's the first grandchild in the family.
I'm breastfeeding the baby and this sometimes takes up to 40 minutes.
My father-in-law is really fond of the baby but he keeps walking in on me when I'm breastfeeding.
I try to cover up with a shawl but it's awkward.
He even comes over to kiss the baby's head while he's still feeding.
Then he'll sit down and start telling me about the cricket or about something random while I'm sitting there trying to breastfeed.
I know he's my mahram, but this is too much.
Then over dinner he decided to tell me that it looks like the baby prefers one breast to the other as one looks heavier and that I should feed more from the heavy one as it might get infected.
I was horrified but my husband just carried on eating.
My father-in-law said that his wife had the same problem when my husband was a baby.
I get that he's giving advice but I feel really uncomfortable that he looked at the size of my breasts.
Shall I tell him he's making me uncomfortable?
Massi says, It appears that your father-in-law isn't purposely behaving inappropriately.
From his perspective he may not intuitively grasp your discomfort when he talks to you whilst you are breastfeeding.
Furthermore, as intrusive as his advice may have seemed about the breastfeeding, you have pointed out that it was advice your father-in-law was giving you. His motive was to help you and not make you feel 'horrified.'
In order to avoid a similar situation in future, breastfeed your baby in your bedroom rather than another room in the house and perhaps lock the door.
This will allow you to feed your baby in peace without the worry of being interrupted.