Dear Massi, I have been going out with a girl for the last year in secret and I finally told my parents about her.
It took a long while to convince them to meet her family who actually have no issues with her dating me.
My family are quite traditional. My girlfriend is really cool and trendy and chilled out, but I didn't realise how modern her family are.
My mum wore traditional clothes with her hijab. Her mum was wearing jeans and a sleeveless top.
When it was namaz time, my dad asked for the prayer mat. They said they don't have one.
My dad said he can pray on the carpet, but they didn't know the prayer direction. I had to take out my phone which has an app in it to find out which way to pray.
The crux of the evening was when my mum went to use their bathroom and there was no lota.
My parents were so angry in the car on the way back. I kind of think they have a point and I think I may have made a mistake.
I'm in double minds, I mean, I didn't even mind the prayer thing and the clothes, but how can I marry a girl who doesn't use a lota?
It's not something we would ever have discussed beforehand- who does that?
Massi Says, It is always important to get to know each other before making a big decision to marry.
Dating in secret has the added allure of romanticism which sometimes can shade practical issues.
Despite the fact that your families have different outlooks, that should not deter you from your girlfriend.
I suspect you anticipated the difference on some level, hence the secrey from your parents for the last year.
Her personality has not changed since the meeting. Your stance is the thing that has changed.
It is up to you to now decide what path to take and how important other people's personal hygiene is to you.
You must decide if you would break up with someone over bathroom etiquette.