Dear Massi, I have just got married and I have just found out my new husband has got a disgusting habit.

He likes to go to the toilet in the gutter in the backyard.

He not only urinates there but does other things.

I have told him it is disgusting but he says I should leave him alone and he did this at home? We live in the family house and my parents don’t know what he does yet!

Even worse last week I found a card board box and it had faeces inside it? I had no idea what to make of it. It was hidden in our bedroom cupboard. I noticed it after a smell.

What kind of habit is this? Barring this he seems like a really good person and we get on well.


Massi Says: This certainly is a dilemma.

However, as unusual as it seems to relieve oneself outdoors, your husband has explained that it was the norm for him at home.

Rather than this being a bad habit, going to the toilet outside is simply all he knows.

Having said that, he is now living in a home where there is a functioning bathroom. But also, he shares the home with other people.

Advise your husband that he needs to be wary that your parents don't see him if he insists on continuing to relieve himself outdoors.

Furthermore, you need to enforce that while you can tolerate him going to the toilet outside, under no circumstances must any faeces be hidden or disposed of inside the house.

If we insist that dog owners correctly dispose of their dog's waste, as humans we are capable of appropriately disposing of our own.

Any bad habit takes times to overcome, and as you said, apart from this one issue you get on well.

You have expressed your concerns. Now give him time to adjust.