Customer (From Asian Image)

Customer

11:47am Friday 23rd September 2011 in Columnists By The Last Bit

Let’s be perfectly honest why the hell is it so difficult to deal with the brothers and sisters?

If you run a business and brother Abdul comes through your door you know you are heading for trouble. Deep down we want nothing to do with Asian customers because and correct me if I am wrong…there is no money in them.

I got ‘em coming into my shop all the time asking for a discount as if it was the last thing on the planet.

There are days when we get the BA’s (best Asian). I love those guys they behave wonderfully and never make a mockery of the sytem.

Every other day I have to deal with the TA’s ( typical Asian) customer. Man it is hell. The women were the worst. I knock the price down from £10 to £1.25. Then at the end of it she makes me think I am ripping her off.

The biggest problem is the ‘relative’ or ‘friend’ customer. Someone who knows you introduces this person who wants to buy something from you. You bend over backwards trying to help the fellow. In the end they slag you off for not doing enough.

Then there is the ‘browser’. I hate them more than anything else. They come in and browse for twenty minutes and then tell you they can buy it cheaper somewhere else.

And what about the ‘freedom skate’? I had a sale on and ended up giving some things away for free with everything you bought. Then this lady comes back saying the free thing had broken and she wanted some money for it. The cheek of it!

The most dangerous customers make you feel guilty for even running a business. They stroll in and think they own the place. And when you ask them what they want they say all your stuff is rubbish.

Then two weeks later they have opened a shop right next door selling the same ‘rubbish’ you had for half the price.

The most infuriating customer ever has to be the religious crew . They waltz in giving it large about how you should do this and that. And you are not professional enough.

Let’s be honest we can’t be professional because if we were you guys would rob me silly and sell my soul to the next man for two rupees and a kebab.

The best saying I ever heard was once when I was serving this bloke and his wife and they both asked for something that was ‘cheaper than free’. What the hell does that mean?

After many years I know what that means…it simply means going home with the customer, dressing up in a dhothi (cloth) and becoming a slave for a whole week. Then at the end of it I pay them half my wage for them buying my product. Cheaper than free indeed.