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Why pride and the Asian man go hand in hand
Do Asian men suffer from acute levels of ego fuelled self- worthiness when compared to their European counterparts?.
Do they hold themselves in a higher esteem than their western peers?.
Do they regard themselves as absolute entities, worthy only of praise, respect and deification, irrespective of their personal conduct?.
Are our men culturally placed on a gender supported pedestal? Are our women expected to be subservient and subordinate by default of their birth form? Should such flagrant irreverence be tolerated?.
Or are these questions being asked in vain- is acute chauvinism an inherent gene within Asian men?.
For example, do they feel a demeaning sentiment when partaking in household chores? Or are those menial jobs saved solely for the lower graded women and servant folk?
In the case of my ex-husband, it was seen as a severe blow to his narcissistic ego that I would not serve him dinner in a tray.
This was after a legal separation had begun. I was rebuked by a 4 day punitive silence imposed upon me. Little did he realise I welcomed this as a refreshing change.
Furthermore, I was asked to continue doing his laundry. Let me reiterate that we are separated. To me that denotes living detached lives, only to liaise where children’s issues are concerned.
Having politely declined to add onto my daily tasks the burden of his washing (if you’re not paying my electricity bill you certainly cannot avail of any laundry services), I received further silence as supposed disciplinary action.
A final example, when I tersely demanded that my apartment key be returned to me, after several ignored attempts, it was eventually thrown to the ground for me to collect.
How proudly indignant was my ex-husband, injured that I would hurt his pride by requesting the return of my key.
Well, if you do not pay the rent you certainly have no legitimate authority to enter this home without my permission let alone gain entry of your own accord with a key.
This level of pride remains incomprehensible to me. Or perhaps it a thwarted effort to inflict hurt or to perhaps incite some level of antagonism.
He should learn from past experience that this haughty and supercilious behaviour only serves to fuel my lone fight against him.
However progressive a certain spectrum of our men are, I firmly believe that this archaic mentality prevails more than we would like to admit. The only solution is to battle this unyielding mind set rather than concede to it.
In conclusion, a swift riposte, firmly illustrated by a statement made by arguably the most honourable dignitary in history.
Gandhi very aptly said in a letter to Rajkumari Amrit Kaur dated 20-10-36: "If you women only realize your dignity and privilege, and make full sense of it for mankind, you will make it much better than it is. But man has delighted in enslaving you and you have proved willing slaves till the slave and holders have become one in the crime on degrading humanity.”