Meeting someone for marriage purposes can be awkward enough. But the presence of presumptuous, judgemental parents only thwarts an already arduous process.
We share some challenging conversations that have taken place in the very first rishta meeting.

Money Matters
“I felt like my privacy had been invaded. The parents wanted to know if I had paid for my car in full, wanted proof of my income and even asked me how much money I spend on my parents every week. 
“They asked to see my degree and photos of my graduation. They said their daughter had to have her own house and couldn’t possibly live in my parents’ home. The irony is, their daughter wasn’t even a graduate and called herself a makeup artist after watching a few YouTube videos.”  Taz

Way. Too. Harsh.
“I got a horrible reality check at how superficial girls today really are. I only met families to keep my parents happy. In the first meeting the parents of the prospective bride told my parents that in their family all the girl’s married good looking men. And whilst they considered me to be average looking, I was far too overweight. 
“They went on to ask if I would join a gym and said that I would become more handsome if I lost weight. I never went on a rishta meeting again after that.” Yasser

Insecure In-Laws
“The meeting was going fine. The parents were very open and honest about the fact that their son had been divorced. 
“Then they started talking about his ex-wife and said that the reason for the divorce was because she rang her parent’s every day. 
“The mum then asked my mum to guarantee that I would only ring my parents once a week with his parents present so they could hear the conversation. Needless to say, that rishta was quickly shut down.” Tahira

Obsessed With Boys
“I have never heard of people in this country having a preference for baby boys over baby girls. 
“This family were like something out of a different century. In the first meeting they introduced us to their three other daughter-in-law’s. 
“In front of them, they said that they were really disappointed that they had all given birth to girls and there was not a single male grandchild. Then they said to my parents that they hoped I would be the one who could produce a boy!” Ambreen

Gori Bride
“One family that came to visit us was obsessed with skin colour. They were so excited that my mum was fair skinned, but you could see the disappointment on their face when they met me. The mum said, ‘What a shame, she looks like her dad.’ My dad quickly got rid of them.” Raishma

The Greedy Family
“I’ve met many families for the rishta meeting. But this one time was the weirdest one. They said they only met with families whose daughter was called Saima as their pir had advised them that only someone of this name would bring their son great wealth.” Hafeesa

Sibling Rivalry
“It’s very rare that me and my parents actually agree over a guy and his family. I was surprised at how well the first meeting was going. 
“Then my younger sister came into the room and said salam and went off upstairs. We could see the guy’s parents look at each other quite blatantly and without any hesitation the mum asked if they could do the rishta with my younger sister instead. My parents politely declined.”  Rukhsana 

No Professionals Allowed
“This one family told my parents they didn’t want me working after I got married to their son- this was in the first meeting where nothing had been agreed. They were completely oblivious to my parent’s reaction. 
“They carried on saying working girls are too modern and they neglect their husband’s and their homes and they are the cause of increasing divorce rates. I was tempted to ask them what their academic source was. 
“On top of that, they didn’t want their daughter-in-law going to any hen parties. It was so random. I don’t know what they think happens at hen parties, but it was on their criteria. I feel sorry for the poor woman who did end up marrying their son.” Anni

Anti Social Media
“I have been asked many questions in first rishta meetings, but this one woman was really on top of things. 
“The aunty had researched my Facebook and Instagram pages beforehand. She asked my parents if they knew that I had pictures of me looking like a dog using a Snapchat filter. 
“The mum said I had falsely made myself look more beautiful using the filters and that I didn’t look as pretty in real life. However, they were willing to overcome the ‘dhoka’ (betrayal) if I promised to come off all social media if we went ahead with the wedding. I didn’t know whether to applaud her efforts or be freaked out by her stalking.” Naina

The Religious Elite
“I find the whole rishta process a pain and I only go along with it because otherwise my mum puts me through all this emotional blackmail. 
“The meetings are always really uncomfortable and the conversation is quite frankly fake. But one family took the personal questions to a whole new level. 
“The dad asked me which mosque I go to, which school of thought I follow, how I determined if a restaurant was, in fact, halal and my thoughts on foreign policy! 
“If I had wanted an aggressive religious debate I would have just gone online.
“After that episode I told my parents I am not visiting any families where the girl wears a hijab.” Farooq

Headlock and marry
“I went to see a girl and the dad put me a headlock. He said if I could get out of it I could marry his daughter. This was no joke either. Safe to say there was no wedding” Dipesh