As winter sets in Razia Anwar has been visiting Syrian and Palestinian refugee camps in Jordan and tells of a crisis beyond comprehension.

As I looked at our itinerary I realised this was always going to be a emotional roller coaster of a week. 

As the Palestinian guides tell us about the various refugee camps and numbers of refugees in each camp, it dawns on us that our aid contribution is so small - it will make a very small dent in aid that is needed.

 Jordan's two third of the population do not originate from the country. They are currently looking after two million refugees. 

On this trip Zataari is one of many camps housing fleeing Syrians and Palestinians.

Our UK based Global Rahmah foundation charity group consists of 11, the three males are outnumbered by 8 strong women. 

The monetary donations have gone towards the purchase of winter packs which consist of mattresses, pillows and blankets, as well as winter coats. 

Day 1 The refugee children at the Zataari camp

Just as the day comes to completion, we passed an illuminated fairground and instantly a sad thought pressed in my head -  the refugee children from Zataari  camp would have to try painfully hard to get an exit permit to experience such an exhilarating funfair.

Just to have an hour to themselves a parent would have to stand for hours amongst thousands for a permit.

Whether the children's expressionless broken face and empty blank eyes would break in to a smile or not would be another question.

The adults equally had a painful sorrow embedded on their faces.

Our morning started off with a 1.5hr drive to Zataari, the largest refugee camp in the Middle East, about 13km from the Syrian border. 

Officials came on to the bus to check our names and then we were granted entry.

We were told of the etiquette towards refugees which was to be careful as to what we give, for our safety and of others. 

Not having enough could result in trouble due to sheer desperation and need. 

Walking on a main shopping road within one section of the camp, we entered  a clothes store where 50 families and children chose their own clothes,  which with  kind donations we were able to purchase.

Next was the Child care charity, for disabled, deaf and blind children, where we gave 20 Syrian families in need  £50 each from your donated money. 

Moving in to Al-Mafraq area we visited the Development and rehabilitation centre. This was the first office where in 2011, a handful of 9 Syrian refugee families arrived escaping from the civil War.

Now they have administered over 300,000 or more refugees. 

Here, we distributed Kerosene (petrol) for the cooking stove and stove burner heating the rooms which will  take them through the Winter. 

We handed out food packs containing lentils, rice, oil etc for 50 Palestinian and Syrian families.  

Mothers and fathers were full of gratitude and prayers for the help.
 
The last project was to meet six Syrian and Palestinian families, the stories we here include one of a Gazan widow with one disabled son, a young women who had been deserted by her husband as she was unable to have children; A Syrian family of seven where the father is unable to work as he is a refugee and therefore does not have a work permit.

Day 2 Refugees who have spent a lifetime in the camps

Watching a group of older women reciting the Quran was the start of our enriching morning event.

The ladies attend a madrasah to learn Tajweed and reading the Quran. 

The centre does not differentiate between rich or poor or nationality. 

The Al-Hoor centre in the refugee area  of Al-Naser Camp is too small for the amount of ladies attending. 

Then we spent the morning visiting families in the Al-Naser Camp area, some families were Palestinian, who's families had been persecuted and they had left in 1948,  Nakba descendants. Who almost 70 years on, struggle daily with poverty and hardship. 

One Palestinian man who had been tortured as a prisoner had 3 children, the cold house was missing a heater due to affordability. 

We discussed this dire situation and as a group donated more money for the purchase of a heater, instantly her six-year-old son's face broke in to a smile. 

Most of the  day was spent visiting 10 Syrian and Palestinian families who were given food packs, blankets, pillows and money as we saw leaking roofs, broken doors and falling ceilings. 

As a group we discussed where our donors money be used such as helping  a family of 9 from being evicted due to being 800 dinars in debt with rent arrears. 

The debt was paid, therefore the family still have a roof for their six children on the December 1. 

The money was paid straight to the landlord after checks of debt authenticity. 
50 Syrian and Palestinian families were handed winter packs of blankets and pillows. 

All the refugees houses were rented as they had decided to leave the refugee camps for a better life, a little more freedom dependant on  their varied personal situations. 

After all this, they stood offering us kahwa, coffee, resilient and patient with utter reliance on Allah. 

We only came into their lives, as deliverance of their Duas, prayers from the help of our donators.

The gem to finish the day was meeting a Malaysian family who are currently looking after six Palestinian amputee children - some with both of their legs missing who will soon leave Jordan for Malaysia to have bionic limbs surgery.

Day 3 The missing family members who may never return

Today the day started with the ATM run to take out extra funds to distribute to 50 Syrian families in Al-Baqa camp in North Jordan.  

The ladies spoke about their reasons how they came across the border with the children. 

Quite a few women had their husbands missing and pleaded to ask international agencies on how they could locate their husbands. 

They were unsure of their whereabouts.

 The lady with her sad vacant eyes visible from her nikab said she knew her husband had been allocated a number, so when enquires are made the Syrian government say there is no one with that name. 

As she talked about her husband, I choked up and after two days, I broke down with grief and uncontrollable tears. 

Overpowering grief and sadness for her six children.

She showed me her UNHCR papers as to verify her story ( which there was no need).

I hugged her and no words I spoke could lighten her burden, she relied on Allah and the only moment the tears stopped was her  strength of her Imaan (faith). 
We handed out more winter food packs.

At The Jarash centre we gave 50 families £50 each to help them slightly with the cost of living in expensive Jordan. 

They have left their homes, separated from their family members, lost their family members to murder, shrapnel fire or imprisonment. They have witnessed the most barbaric scenes of torture and escaped to protect the living members of their families.

We dressed the kids with warm clothes and wellies. A little boy waited to get his new shoes whilst Auntie went to her suitcase filled with furry wellies to get his size. He patiently sat as his mum watched. 

He left with the biggest smile on his face and a new outfit. 

Five Palestinian and Syrian families were visited in their shack of a Home, with corrugated leaking roofs, subsidence problems and large cracks visible on walls. Monetary help was given alongside food packs and kerosene.
 
As we about to leave the last house, a young entrepreneurial boy of about 10,  stood with his ice cream on a wooden cart business.

Saira captured this beautiful moment by asking the young ice cream boy to give the neighbourhood kids an ice cream as she discreetly placed some money in to his pocket. 

He looked overjoyed, the kids surrounded the cart within minutes with their beaming smiles. 

Within an instant, the atmosphere morphed in to a remarkable joyful bustling scene. 

Quickly moving on to our evening dinner invitation from yesterday. 

The Malaysians had arranged a dinner to welcome us to Jarash in their restaurant. They had brought the 6 Palestinian children wearing their prosthetics. 

You could tell by their rigid movements they were struggling with the current limbs, the state of the upcoming  art bionic limb surgery in Malaysia will change their lives forever.