I am 32 years-old and looking to get married and over the past few years I have been on several dates and introductions. By Masood Ahmed.

My intention has been to look for a prospective partner that I might settle down with.

This has not always been the case mind you but I have come to that age where my parents are questioning my sexuality. Sorry, I had to put it that way but I must say it is difficult being an Asian man and not being married by a certain age.

They either think you are impotent or you are gay. There are no other answers.

Thankfully though being male I can get away with it for a lot longer than my female counterparts.

What I have noticed is how as an Asian man I am not cut out for dates whatsoever. I am no good at reading women and what they want.

For instance, Asian women especially the Muslim girls I have been with tend to send out conflicting messages and we Asian men just do not know how to handle them.

Contrary to what might have been written in the tabloids Asian men are brought up to respect women - regardless of their backgrounds.

We actually will go out of way to respect the fairer sex more than anyone else.

Not sure why I must state this but I guess I must in these testing times.

I have been on dates with women and they will talk a lot about ‘respect’ and how they don’t want to have sex before marriage. Respect to them means - me as an Asian man knowing she is not about to get intimate with me too soon.

I guess you could say that about any woman really but within our culture we like to give off these ‘religious’ vibes.

But a few weeks down the line that barrier is broken.

Now, I’m not painting everyone with the same brush but there is this real hypocrisy. If you try to be respectful and do exactly what the woman says then you face losing someone altogether.

I got called a stiff once because I wanted to take things slowly. She also said she wanted ‘a man’ and I wasn’t ‘man enough for her’.

Another time I turned up at a date and she was wearing a hijab. She came across quite sincere and we talked for several days about family, culture and religion.

A week into the relationship she was sexting me and obviously wanted to take the relationship further. What was she using the hijab for? To lure in the sincere guys? It is certainly how it felt.

I met one woman through the internet on an Islamic website and she was talking religion more than anything else. Again, a few weeks later she wanted me to take her to London for the weekend and even booked the room.

Some of the worst experiences I have had is when I have found out details about people after I have been a relationship with them for a while.

Through social media you can only hide so much and when you live in a small community you can find out things easily. I know the past shouldn’t matter but when you get told ‘I’m very religious’ for several weeks and then you find they obviously are not then it is hard not to feel a little aggrieved.

I am not saying Asian men are perfect either. I know we all have our vices and problems.

I just think that in recent years it has become more and more difficult for people to be more honest. Asian women have this huge idea that they have to come across in a certain way and we Asian men must pretend we don’t sense the sheer hypocrisy.

There is this unsaid deal between us. She will pretend to be all religious and cultured and we will pretend to acknowledge that in all its forms. And then when that mask comes down we are expected to forget about all the rubbish she talked about in the first place.