The month of Ramadan brings to surface the spiritual side to most of us.
And naturally, we like to share our new found fervour, whether it’s at a religious talk or on Facebook or Twitter.
And sometimes advice dished out in this holy month, whilst uttered with good intentions leaves the recipient questioning its authenticity and purpose.
Here are a few Ramadan gems:
1. “Don’t breathe in people’s faces.”
Er, there’s never a good time to ever breathe in someone’s face. Unless you dislike them. And most of us are more than conscious of Ramadan halitosis.
2. “Don’t inhale deodorant when fasting.”
Who in their right mind inhales deodorant when they are not fasting? Anyone?
3. “Don’t look at Muslim marriage websites when you are fasting.”
Hmm…no comment.
4. “Women, you are permitted to flirt with your husband when you are fasting.”
Hands up who has the energy to flirt when they are fasting? And why aren’t men advised to flirt with their wives?
5. “If your husband has given up watching football in Ramadan, don’t think it is suitable to catch up on Indian dramas because you have more access to the TV.”
We detect a slightly biased tone here.
6. “Brothers, don’t wear tight jeans during Ramadan. It will distract the sisters.”
Because that is what is on every girl’s wish list: a nice, kind man with a good job who has the perfect derrière.
7. “Even though it is Ramadan, you should spend quality time with your wife, even if it is 10 minutes a day.”
Yes, the recipe to a successful marriage, the 10 minute a day allocation. Lucky wife.
8. “Put on your contact lenses before fajr and remove them after maghrib.”
Is there really a fatwa about contact lenses?
9. “Don’t do your Eid shopping when you are hungry. Women can run out of patience when fasting as they have many responsibilities placed on them during Ramadan. Therefore, take your wife shopping when she isn’t hungry.”
No comment…
10. And finally.
“Avoid bad habits like smoking, playing poker or spending time with the mistress to make your Ramadan more worthwhile.”
If ever there pearls of wisdom…