I am a British Pakistani born and bred in the UK. A son of first generation Pakistani parents. I am single.

The one issue where there seems to be a struggle to see eye to eye is the topic of marriage.

Where my parents’ mind-set of marriage and women in today’s times are the same as their generation.

A good family, background etc are the most important characteristics and the key to a successful marriage.

The reality is not so skin deep and what one perceives as a good background may well be true, but we all know what happens in Made in Chelsea.

This may well look like a comparison a stretch too far yet it is really inconceivable that Pakistani girls of my generation act in any way different, who are brought up here in the UK.

If one is looking for a girl who is well educated, has a good job -This translates as her being very independent, so she will not take any rubbish from men (this is also helped by her mother’s “wise” words) and she will not want to live with her in- laws, no matter what.

My parents’ generation simply can't comprehend this.

Women’s fickle behaviour and materialistic views are qualities the first generation of Asians have never seen before.

This does not help with the fact, as previously mentioned, that mothers train their daughters to be independent and to not walk in their footsteps to allow men to control and dictate their lives.

No man I know wants that; they want an equal marriage.

However, meeting women with those ideologies after they have been drummed into her for twenty years becomes a whole new prospect.

Compromise as a result will become my way or no way.

It is a hard to imagine a woman who is looking for marriage being well educated with a good job, along with coming from a good family background, being just a simple normal girl.

She doesn't exist.

The problem is women nowadays look at other women and look at the freedom they have and the relationships they are in.

Yet they fail to acknowledge the fact that a lot of women actually listen and compromise. These qualities hold the key to a successful marriage.

What I am stating here is if one wishes to accept a different culture, then accept the good points and embrace them.

The problem here is Asian women want to be modern. They love saying “I am modern Pakistani Muslim!".

Don’t get me wrong there are an equal amount of men who too say that.

But one is not modern because they don’t pray and sit in bars every Friday and Saturday night drinking whilst being chatted up by men and running through boyfriends like they are going out of fashion. There is a word for that.

Being modern means accepting the world we live in, the good and bad and taking on the good attributes and fully embracing them.

By Uzair Ali