National statistics reveal a record number of people in the UK are living with their parents.

Official figures show 1 in 4 adults aged 20 to 34 are now more likely to be sharing a home with their parents than any time since 1996.


Whilst living with ones parents can prove to be precarious for any married couple, going on holiday with them is a whole other story.

“We'll join you." "Assi vi chalain."

Those three dreaded words are enough to cause a couple to inwardly retch.

One friend was using a holiday away in a Spanish villa to rekindle some romance with his wife after a few gruelling working months.

When his parents decided to join them, not only was the spare room that was designated to the two young children given up, but the elderly parents decided that this holiday would serve to reignite their own romance.

Needless to say the younger couple returned from their holiday insatiated and a little traumatised.

Rented holiday accommodation makes perfect sense in this fiscal climate. And particularly if you have children, the freedom to cook and eat leisurely is a bonus. However, privacy becomes all but a lost concept.

Some people have in-laws tagging along on their holiday persisted with the conjugal side, only to discover that her mother-in-law politely waited outside the bedroom until her and her husband had finished before knocking on the door to ask if they would like warm milk with their parathas for breakfast.

After that, said (slightly perturbed) daughter-in-law persisted on a sex strike until her husband agreed to ban his parents from any future holidays with them.

As Asians, doing things en famille are second nature. As is biting ones tongue to incessant bitter critique from one in-laws.

One poor friend was rather traumatised when her mother-in-law used the spare baby's bottle as a rather innovative Muslim shower.

Another was advised not to waste money on sarongs. That’s what dupattas are there for.
Here’s a succinct guide to surviving a holiday with the inlaws:

Tip One: Learn to be professionally silent, sort of like a First Lady should.

Tip Two: Think of acquiescence as a skill, not a compromise.

Tip Three: Forget about Tips One and Two and become shamelessly immune to the melee of in-laws.