There is no compulsion in religion. Actually, there is no compulsion in culture. Yet somehow we seem to adhere to the cultural manifestations of Islam more than the religion itself.

“If you don’t shave your armpits every four days, it’s haram brother.”

“It’s halal to wear a bikini as long as your husband approves.”

This chorus of solemn over attentive rhetoric is but another reflection on culture rather than religion.

However, outdated cultural absurdities can only flourish when we ourselves continue to be so complicit.

Pointing out the alleged haram nature of saying the word ‘pig’ is a truism, but did you know that Romani gypsies follow the same rules but for the word ‘monkey?’ “It’s haram to wear nail polish.”

“It’s haram to drink water with your left hand.”

“It’s haram to wear contact lenses when you are fasting.”

There is an unequivocal spirit of being overly vociferous for the more mundane issues, yet when it comes to 'certain matters' - all of a sudden being coy is the modus operandi.

“Women must have ghusl after they are, erm, relaxed.”

Well thanks for clearing that one up.

However, trying to find some sort of equilibrium between Asian culture, Islam and modernity can get somewhat confusing.

Particularly when you have the likes of Maajid Nawaz who thinks it is perfectly in keeping with adopting the role of the modern secular Muslim to tweet a picture with the words ‘Jesus and Mo.’ Religious stance aside, that’s just bad manners.

Tweeting something more for effect rather than substance is never going to have a positive outcome. Have people not learnt any lesson from the whole Justine Sacco Aids ‘joke’ debacle?

And a final but worthy mention for the facile fount of knowledge, simply because of its inventive nature, ‘Children, it is haram to watch The Muppets because of Miss Piggy.’ Yes, us too.